February 1st involved blood work, a CT scan with contrast and an intrusive groin entry into my femoral artery and up into my heart. It involved another reality check. Thankfully, it also involved me sleeping in my own house again - well, at least resting.
Many things went through my mind over that 24 hour period between the event leading to the ER and the trip back home. I was concerned about my daughter worrying, my son being at home by himself, items I still needed to take care of, work and school. My concern of work was extremely short - a simple text message and that was taken care of. I knew I had, and would, miss some deadlines for the classes I had just begun. I knew my will needed updated, my paperwork was a mess, my finances still needed some tweaking. I was still on a quest to get my son's health back on track, school back on track and still needed to teach him to drive. I still had a house to finish simplifying, organizing and remodeling. Obviously, I still had my health to tend to as well.
I left the hospital knowing what I needed to do. First night home and rest was the only thing on the agenda. The next morning I woke with that direction still on my mind. Of course, I couldn't do much yet. The focus for day 2 was hydration. Having all of that contrast put in my system, it was important to hydrate and clean it through my kidneys. Day 3 found me questioning the redirection. I shot off a few emails to determine my status in my classes - sure I could handle 'it all' if I hadn't missed too many deadlines. Hydration was still the main focus, with a little bit more movement. Day 4 brought responses. I was okay in both classes as long as I met the upcoming deadlines. That meant it was going to be a busy weekend. I can handle busy, I thought. I'm good at busy.
But wait. I was still feeling quite sluggish and still had other things that needed my attention. Being a pay day weekend, I needed to tend to my finances, I needed to follow up on some new things going on with my son's health. I still needed to update my will and still had much to do around the house.
The war of the good shoulder angel and the bad shoulder angel had begun. The bad shoulder angel told me I could 'cover it all' as I had before. The good shoulder angel reminded me that by trying that route, things were slipping. Let me tell you how close the bad angel came to winning. I just knew I could pull it all together.
However, I was smart enough to step back and think about what I would advise someone else to do in this situation.
Day 4 ended with me deciding to stand firm on my initial gut instinct on how to proceed. I slept better. Not well, but better.
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